Chapt er 0: Everything all at once.
Chapter 1: Fiat lux and there was. From the world of sleep to the world of light; dreams fade and darkness slips away to the corners. I looked out the windows, up toward the skies. From the world of thoughts to the world of life; I saw the skies and I believed. Bright. I close the window stumbling down to the kitchen. Put on coffee, elixer of life. I pour myself a cup and step outs -ide Garden. I had toiled, there, planting seeds. /// // These seeds now had flower'd, I had seen them grow and bloom. I saw them grow and I believed. I sat in the shade of a tree, out there. I sat and drank my coffee, thinking about my life and my work. Reflecting on the beginnings of this day. Creation, inits little way, stretched out before me; grew up between my toes and lived or died at my beckon. I sat there like that for a while. Birds sang to me, there. They sang to me from the woods, so I followed their voices out there. Death begets life ; life begets death. I follow'd this trail into the night. I cast a handful of seeds into the fields - - Kether is the crown. I am beyond fatherhood and motherhood. I created this world for myself and myself alone. - I made the grass green,, - I (beyond ego) gave the birds their song to sing.
Chapter 2: I believed, but not anymore. I watched the skies, I saw things grow. I knew that I was. I walked. I sat in the shade of a tree, out there. ]] The wild woods stretched around me : the creation outside my garden. I saw all the wildgrowth and the wilderbeings. Out of the shadows arose a dark figure, a wanderer, shrouded in a greycloak. I believed / / but not anymore. The wanderer talked to me, shrouded in the shade of the tree. I sat there and the wanderer did not, shrouded in the shade of the tree. The apparition that paced around me would move his thick gloved hands as he talked, the deep red(bright red) lining of the cloak flashes of colour otherwise colourless he moved ./silently and softly. I am . (I thought). /* unfinished */
Chapter 3:
I sat, cooling, in the shade of the tree.
He stood, shrouded, in the shade of the tree.
I asked him questions; answers he softly returned.
I stopped, though, when he told this to me:
"Stop, listen, let me tell this to you.
I, like you, have sought for what's true.
I have seen things die, and rise again from the ashes.
But, I learned, every man's given his due.
I saw / though / - - #|The sky's not always so blue|#
I asked him what he meant and he said:
"The sky though now blue will someday turn red,
When the sky weeps blood, the dead cease to rot."
He whispered to me, " ..You cannot live again unless you have bled. "
I asked him, "Where have you been?"
He replied, "To a dark grendel's den. I have travelled freely for
as long as you have known boundaries. I thought I could face all evil --
but dark and grim I recieved a wound - - a cut across the hand. I cursed
god, thinking him to blame. As the infection slowly worked its way into
my body, like a fire it cleansed my body. My mind, as
yours. Cleansed. Clear. I am as you. as god.
I died cursing and exalting the name of god. As one.
I am here now, risen." -as he talked,
I realised that where his cloak had been red
it was now a brilliant white.
he continued,
"In my hand, I hold a knife.
/With this, your doubts will cease.
Now tell me, what good will come of all this strife
when all you have experienced is life?
Realise, now, that nothing exists but perfection.
True, but You are half blind, and see nothing outside - -
Trust me, and you will see again.
Trust in me, and you will see not that your eyes are imperfect,
..but that they do not exist."
Holding out a crimson cup, filled with whitest milk, the wanderer with
flickering tongue spoke: "drink of this, blood of my blood, and ye shall
surely not die,then your eyes will be opened. Ye shall be as god, with the
knowledge of good and evil."
Chapter 4:
I took the cup in my two hands and took a long drink. The liquid warm
and thick flowed down my throat. As I stood there the wanderer left me,,
then the air grew cold and damp; I reached out - he turned his back
and what about life after he had told me, I clung to. Hoping I could
hold on and be true.
Looking out into the woods I saw a hive of bees, and tending to them a
funny little man dressed in red, a pair of horns atop his head. He looked
at me and I began to turn away, but I was strangely drawn to him and
I began to walk. He kept watching me, as I walked,
as he took out a pair of pipes and began to play.
Twice as red as the wanderer's cloak was the skin of the red man
before me / his skin a brilliant red that cast his surroundings
in a blood-copper.
With his pipes he played a haunting melody / And a strange dance // his
hooves striking the earth a strong heartbeat
Listen to my heart beat ..
Where his right hoof struck - a small sprout of greengold
or a small blossoming violet-red.
Where his left hoof struck - a withering , a dying.
brittle and brown turned the plants.
I stood and watched for some amount of time - I broke
my silence and asked the man what he called himself:
he stopped, and turning to me his brilliance grew until
I had no choice but to avert my eyes.
Then thus he spoke
the four-fold name
the unutterable name
I could listen no more. The cup fell to the ground and the earth
drank the remaining milk. Trees shook as he spoke the name ; the
sky grew black as he spoke the name.
TETRAGRAMMATON The only light was the blinding
burning light from the thunder-being before me; I could not see.
The sky boiled
and honey dripped from the red lips
and he spoke not with his own voice,
but the voice of lightning striking nearby;
this was his voice.
:"I am all directions in time. I create, and I destroy."
I am all the seas; the froth of the
mighty waves
is my hair and beard.
My hooves are those of the war-horse;
I am flesh."
"Fear me. I will give you strength.
Hold no other gods before me
And my kingdom will be yours."
Thus is chokma >
chesed.
Thus is the Word.
Thus is the Law.
Chapter 5:
The bees grew active, swarming around the
milk-soaked earth.
The milk became flesh, //# shimmering white.
and a lady in shimmering white
stood in the center of a fierce hurricane of bees, ..;!
` serene and composed.
The lady's presence seemed to calm the vermillion thunder-being,
and the sky began to clear. She walked towards him and placed her small
slender hand on his shoulder, and he began to weep. She whispered in
his ear something I couldn't hear, and the trees ceased to shake. Soon
she began to walk towards me, her silvery white hair falling lightly
around her shoulders and carrying with it the faint scent of lilies.
Her voice was strong, as if carved out of marble.
"I see you are frightened.
do not fear him, I am he /
and I rule over him.
I am force and motion.
the heavenly cycles are my form.
my breath are the four winds;
the movement of all living things is my reflection."
Even though the lady before me was solid matter, her image swayed and
became ethereal with the slight breeze , the swarming of the bees and
the growing of the green plants was visible in her.
I asked her what she called herself:
thus she spoke
the five-fold name '''
- the name of Spirit and Strength. ''
Words failed me ; I fell to my knees. Joy and Compassion combined
within me .I knew her as Geburah, and also as Justice and
Fear. The kineticism that was in her and of her grew quickly; her form
grew in energy and brightness without end..
I shielded my eyes, and when I removed my hand I no longer saw either of
the two gods that had presented themselves to me.
and I felt the wanderer standing next to me, his cloak the colour
of mist. My garments, as well, had been bleached a similar white. I
turned towards my guide, seeing that His hood, still, was pulled over
his face and I could not see within. He spoke to me.
"Come, we are alone now.
Your journey will not be the same as mine.
I sought for the prize --
I sought, but I couldn't reach that high.
I sought to drink from that holy cup
filled, with the waters of life -
But I could only lap them up,
in a boat that was sinking, I tried to row -
clinging to a world filled with strife...
Had I known what life was, I would have let go.
Now is your time to seek.
I could not drink - I had to give the cup to you.
I am merely aspirations, the elements governed by the Spirit.
You have lost that: Yours is the wisdom and the crown ,,
but you deny me.
"
Chapter 6:
The sky grew again dark and the trees trembled as they had done when
the red man spoke. The cloak of the wanderer seemed returned to its
original grey, and :
( shrouded in shadows and cloak ) ]
he drew :
from within the deep folds of his cloak the long dagger he had shown me
before. I could not move. I saw ten candles affixed to low, strangely
shaped branches forming a circle around us.
five were the colour of fresh blood.
five were the colour of mother's milk.
"The macrocosm: the Great Work; everything outside. This is
the universe, in which you are but a small part. This infinite
expanse which is incomprehensible in size and complexity is all that is"
the wanderer said softly as he inscribed
a triangle in the soft earth with his dagger,
with one point facing towards me.
"The other universe, just as vast is the microcosm. The little cosmos.
This is the great insoluble mystery; this is the universe of man. It
contains within it all things, but only a fragment of what exists. It is
a small speck nestled within the macrocosm, while also containing it."
This time carving a triangle
with the point facing towards himself,
this triangle superimposed on the first.
He held out his hand
and I took it. He pulled me towards himself
and I did not pull back.
We stood within the hexagram, his eyes gazing deep into mine,
interlocked. the wound on his hand //and I was not afraid.
I felt the knife on my hand,
and felt him slowly draw it across.
My blood came to the earth,
mingling with the dirt
The wanderer never took his eyes from mine,
and I collapsed in his arms
as vertigo set in // and everything went black.
Chapter 7:
All this, He showed me, under the tree -
he told me of things that were, and might be.
But that was then, and time brings change -
I feared it may be too late,
He had left me, bleeding.
I reached out -
He turned his back and what about
life after death I clung to.
(hoping I could hold on and be true)
But I had let go -
Death, my strange foe.
I had lost my grip twice,
and floated, surely, on the black river
(shot, by an arrow from Charon's quiver)
Surely I'd reached the other side by now -
and waking, I soon knew that I had.
I woke suddenly, on a bed of moss.
My body whole again, and heard familiar bees.
//
My reverie was quickly broken as I saw a flash of white. I weakly
propped myself up and my gaze fell upon the same lady in white. She sang,
tenderly, an intoxicating song, as one of the bees briefly paused,
weightlessly upon a perfect emerald ring on her finger. I knew
then that I was victorious, and ran quickly towards her. She looked at me
, passionately , and we embraced.
Singing, beautifully, I was lost in her song.
I was lost in her sea-foam eyes.
We danced,
time was meaningless as we danced.
I knew my journey was at an end
and my heart was lost in her song.
.
Chapter 8: The kind and lovely lady in white paused, and from behind an orange-copper throne picked up a crimson cloak lined with that same colour of the throne. She placed it around my shoulders and explained that it was the symbol of Hod. of Splendour. The dance was over, and She told me that it was time to take my place, and gestured me towards the throne. But as I walked a thunder-clap. and standing before me, in a flash of lightning of the deepest red-violet, the fearsome red man. His eyes glowed bright blue embers and his skin shone the colour of a violent storm. He spoke again his terrible name and I fell to my knees and in a flood of rain the cloak was stripped from me. I choked on the rain that beat so fierce stinging welts forming on my skin Lightning struck the ground before me and in the flash --- I lost my sight And the thunder boomed and in the crash --- I lost my hearing And the electricity coursed through my body and in the shock I lost my feeling I lost everything and in losing I realised that I was free.
Chapter 9:
Stumbling and falling for a long time:
I don't know how long or how far, for I didn't even
have the sense of a sturdy earth beneath me to gauge
my distance by.
Some time later my sense of touch returned,
and ripping a large piece of cloth from what remained of my
clothes, I wrapped it tightly around my ears and eyes,
useless as they were.
I walked, broken but free, for what may have been days; ,my only sense of
time passing was the changing temperature.Being unable to see or hear
allowed me to see the world I had known for what was - mere shadows and
effects; what I had thought of as real was only reality's mask.
I reached a point, then, when I decided to stop. I stood near a tree;
its strong roots supporting it and reaching deep into the earth,
stretching far throughout the garden; beyond.
I sat in the shade of that tree and knew the wanderer would not
appear. The wanderer was a function of sight and sound, and I was
beyond both of those now. Just as I knew that, I knew this tree was
my own creation as well.
The tree, I realised, was the same guide I had
before, this time in a different guise. The message I needed now was
not one that could be expressed in words, nor needed to be.
What I had been reduced to
was my salvation..
Only after losing everything else
could I begin.
I took a sharp rock from the earth
and pricked my finger
leaving a drop of blood
in thanks.
... ..
Chapter 10: Thus I left the Abyss of hallucination behind, which is called "Hell" or "Consciousness" or "Universe" and left the illusory Kingdom Malkuth behind for the downward journey , upon inception, is complete. I thought I was struggling for Kether but in struggling lost sight of that goal. In failing, it was attained. In losing my hearing I though I would lose the Logos - but what I had called Silence /was/ Logos. In losing my sight I thought I would lose the Kingdom - but what I had called the Kingdom was a shadow. and in losing all of this was lost /myself/; reunited with That Which Was Before, and ever will be; Nothing is. Nothing becomes. Nothing is not. Kether begets Malkuth and Malkuth begets Kether and Knowledge is in the Abyss. /amen./